Thursday, April 26, 2007

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Here, at the End of All Things

Things said to me by the FOB during last April; they were good times, eh?

Edgy Killer Bunny:

All hail the Brady Bunch!


This isn't about a boy. . . although that is a book and movie that you should all know and love and if you don't, I'll lend you my next counseling session for you to figure out why not.

Happily Married Straight Friend of Gay Boyfriend Chick:

Please do say mean things about me. I know I deserve it.


I'm curious what the wrath of Master Fob would be like. Chainsaws? Thumbscrews? It sounds bouncy, trouncy, fun, fun, fun to see what would happen.

Master Fob

I had no problem with "she wants to be in love with him." Maybe through some complicated accident she suspects he has something of hers? Maybe she thinks he's a serial killer? Maybe he plays in a band and she digs his music?

As usual, significant and/or meaningless others are welcome.


Just use the phrase "always already" and the word "topos" a lot and you'll be fine.

I loved your mom last night AT THE WASH HUT IN THE BACK SEAT OF PETER'S CAR!


"I can't believe they're letting such a disorganized person graduate!"

"I should always specify my aversion to touch. I really dislike non-sexual touch."


"High Inquisitor is out in full force."

"It's late for pregnant people."

Queen Zippergut:

Hormones, chemical reaction, strange voodoo, fantasies about making out with them, because other girls like the boy and they want to be the chosen one--these are but a paltry smattering of some "reasons" girls do the things they do.


I think the word "prick" must've flown through his mind like milk and honey.

I have to tell you, those ads for the new sandwich at Quizno's are keeping me up at night.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

No more Nipples


It is everlastingly too late.

Thanks to Master Fob, Tolkien Boy, Sir Jupiter, Edgy Killer Bunny and Nancy Pelosi.

Monday, April 9, 2007

Scenes from FOBoston

"If there's no orgasms in your paper, well..."

"I think Boston may be the only place on the planet where you can arrive at blue through orange."

"Does anyone know where the Green Dragon is? It's a bah."

"That's Diet Coke--not Coors Light, nor water. Actually, it's somewhere delightfully in-between."

"Jellyfish are destroying the Earth??"

"Everything is trapped in the now. Waa waa waa."

"It's supposed to be lions. Maybe they're inside."

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Pahk the Cah in Havahd Yahd

A formal congratulations is in order for those FOBs attending the We’re Incredibly Talented and Smart as Hell Academic Forum in Boston, MA. May the majority of attendees opt to visit your presentations instead of others and may none of you get stage fright like Alex P. Keaton did on Family Ties (you know, the one where he was on the TV quiz show and blanked).

*It has come to my attention that I inadvertently posted this five minutes after another post. That was purely a coincidence and not meant to invalidate the earlier post nor its author.

More on nipples


1. Nipples are the new broccoli.

2. Last call. Please post whether you downloaded PENny, yea or nay. I think I'll take it off sometime next week.

3. I have two. How many do you have?

4. The nipple came by midnight and left its cushions upon the floor.